Filed under: Uncategorized
Its become that time again,
Where I wish that I could freeze time so that he could stay longer.
But its near to impossible.
My husband is heading for training for probably..hmm, the third time this year. I’ve kept myself busy so that I wouldn’t think about it though everything just built up inside till I was numb. And last night I couldn’t hold in my tears. I am afraid. Afraid what life will be without him again. I don’t want to know.
I really don’t want to know.
Today is my last day with him for about a little over a month. He’s heading South. At times like this I wish I really had some familiar faces to cheer me up. I miss my friends from back home so much.
Filed under: life | Tags: change, choices, lessons, new, quote, reflection, self
“A Zebra cannot change its stripes NOR can it remove of them…”
You can go any place in the world and meet new people and start a “new” life. But you will always be what you left behind with your past. Nothing more and nothing less.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
(this post is also on my facebook).
Of all the Fridays I have ever had off (which is pretty damn rare with my work schedule), I am bored out of my mind. I slept in for a few hours but now I am wide awake. Stuck in my thoughts that I cannot seem to spit it out. Blah I hate days when I get like this. I have too much on my mind but just don’t have the patience to focus. I wish I were more organized at home and mentally. My thoughts have been such a mess.
Where to start…
I guess for now I will go with — Work.
Work has been a pain lately. I work so hard to get where I am today with all the cross-training and I feel like I am getting pushed out. For those who don’t know, I have a great passion in Photography. Its what I do most my time (except with the past few weeks I’ve been stuck in a rut). I work in a Photo Lab. Its one of the only stores of all the store chains that still as a functional Photo Lab, I’m talking about full on 35mm developing. And I enjoy my work. I enjoy all the effort I had put into keeping the lab together. With recent new changes in Supervisors. I feel my workload on overload and not only that but I am being slowly weaved out. I’ve been there for almost 3 years, and when I started at the job, the following weeks I was trained in Photo. Of all the people who work in the lab I had been there the longest and yet, I’m getting pushed down. I am so over it….
I took the initiative and decided to move on. Even though its where I wanted to be, I talked with another supervisor to get into some other training and maybe a permanent in that area. We’ll have to see what happens… I was told I might start training for my position next week.
It seems as though I always find myself alone on the holidays, even if it doesn’t quite particularly involve my presence. I’m quite used to it, but it still is no fun.
Filed under: life | Tags: army, deployment, emotions, life, military, thoughts
So as many of you may or may not know, I am a spouse to the deployed. My husband is currently overseas. In a few months he will officially be home for the end of his tour. Only two months ago he was here for R&R after being away for nearly a year. It was a long rocky and triumphant road… And though our time together when he was here after all that time was great i feel a break…
A part of me feels,
that we are growing apart.
It scares me but at the same time I am okay.
I almost completely do not know how to feel right now.
Until he home for good.
Filed under: life
I have learned more so this month that,
no matter what anyone says,
There will always be a second side to them.
They have the side that they show the public world.
And then the side they show on the world wide web which usually is a more confident in the mind-type.
Filed under: life
So I stumbled upon something today, so here I am to repost it because I couldn’t have put it to words any better then it has.
————————–
As i grew up, there were things that I learned not only from my mistakes but also from my experiences.
I learned that:
- we cannot have everything that we want; there is always a reason why this is.
- words can mean different things, it depends on the way we say it; however, it does not apply to all the words that we know
- one cannot say he knows how someone feels until he himself experiences that said feeling.
- in life there are no lefts or rights, there is only front and back
- we might think we know everything, truth is NO. everyday we live we continue on learning new things.
- material possessions can make us happy, temporarily
- trust is one of the biggest things that we need to learn how to work with.
- respect and acceptance are two of the important needs that a person would like to feel and experience.
- behind every smile comes sadness and grief.
- trust no one, love everyone.
- lies, backstabbing….welcome to what we call life!
- we only live once, but if we live right…once is enough.
- we should be thankful everyday we wake up, we are still alive.
- we need to face our problems, turning our back will not end our misery.
- we find how important someone is when he/she is gone.
I definitely do not like this feeling. For years I built up this wall of confidence.
But every now and then the walls come down.
I beg myself,
Not now.
Filed under: Day Off, Travel | Tags: afb, bowling, daiso, federal way, japan, mcchord, washington, yen
I am so sleepy right now, its not even funny. Though somehow I am still awake. Things on my mind, go figure. Today was pretty awesome. I got to hang out with Yen for once. Her and her husband will be leaving Washington soon. It sucks like a mother lol. But thats the military life, people will come and go. I know that our friendship will remain.
We took an adventure to Daiso, a japanese import store. Our first run, directions courtesy of Google (which btw, sucked!) took us into some residential area about 2-3 exits before the actual place (which I had to pullover to the side and mapquest it on my phone.)! Three words: Google maps bite!!! We finally arrived to our destination like 30-45 min after. Oh well, was damn worth it. We made our way into The Commons Mall in Federal Way, WA. The surrounding area is just overwhelmingly great! We headed inside mainly for Daiso of course. We spent a good hour or two I think in there. Walked out with some cheap goods from Japan! And we all know I love that. We got a bite to eat before heading back to rainy town of Lakewood. Blah!
I ended up going bowling with Yen and her husband’s friends. They were pretty cool. If only some other people were as mellow. OH! and i beat her on the last game. YAY ME!!!I guess thats pretty much the day. I got lots of great shots with my digital camera and camera phone. I am gonna have to get the other photos from Yen though.
