Filed under: family, life, military | Tags: bad habits, change, rarebliss cleaning errands
Its about one day left until my husband sets foot back into Washington. The past month I had been so overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions and situations. I gave into doing nothing. Literally nothing most of my days. Its was horrible. And the days that I needed to get things done, I would write myself a reminder and follow it through about two to four days after. Which wasn’t too bad but still. Being productive is my main thing. Though I have been drained. Emotionally and physically drained.
My sleeping habits became worse, I would stay awake all night even if I had to work the following morning. On my days off I end up sleeping until the afternoon. And talking about eating… Well yes, I am human and sometimes I forget I need to eat until my stomach really feels like a pit! A big gaping pit that needs to be filled. And when I would eat, I would eat! I would worry, not being able to hear from him made my stress level go from 1 (barely) to 5 (full on stress!)….
Its amazing how one simple thing can open your eyes. For much anticipation, this end of the month… maybe about two days ago, I was able to hear from my husband again. And hearing from him, telling me he will be coming home soon made all the difference in my lifestyle, my world.
A date. An actual physical number/day I can rely on has been confirmed. One more day left and back to reality. Back to feeling normal. Back to feeling alive again.
Filed under: family, life | Tags: drama, family, home, issues, mental, past
I’m starting to think I suffer from some kind of mental stress from the past. Every time something remotely familiar to me comes up, I’m sucked into an abyss of darkness, lies, deceit, and drama that is made up of my past. I spent have of the home life as a spectator… an observant. I spent so much time just living my life as I should only to be interrupted halfway through with drama that isn’t even mine but effects me anyway. And that’s when it all started, its when I started to see the truth behind certain aspects in my life, and the people surrounding me. How….
I wonder how anyone could ever be so, prone to drama. Its like they live in it. I never wanted to be a part of that. But some things always haunt me.
If I could erase some of my past I would. If I could change certain things pertaining to my family and events, I would. If I was given the choice to whom I would have lived my adolescent life with, It would have never been what is was and where. I would have reacted much more differently than leading myself into the wrong hands…If I had only known about her faults sooner.
